What are 心, 根, 识 and智?
To differentiate is to discriminate. Recently, there was an incident involving an Astro installer who was supposed to install a new PVR at my mother’s house. The installer tried to cheat his way out of a failed appointment and I was not in a mood to let him go scot free. As a result of my reprimand to him, he burst into anger.
After the incident above, I asked myself whether my reaction would be different if the installer happened to be my client. Sad to say that the answer is a YES. That is discrimination.
Am I telling myself that I do practise double standards? To the person that I give money to and to the person that I receive money from? I really need to change that!
I was also troubled by certain elements in the first few weeks of November. I started to doubt the Buddha’s teachings. When I faced with certain issues, in the normal days before those doubtful weeks, I would have thought of Master’s teachings and followed through. When I was in doubt, my wife would also guide me through. But in the first few weeks of November, whenever I tried to put a solution to the issue faced, I would add another question to the solution. The question was “Is it like this?” I started to doubt the so-called solutions based on the teachings. Even when my wife asked me to ask Master if I had doubts, I said to her that Master would definitely answer “this, this and that”. But, to me, was that the right solution?
The reason behind my doubtful mind at that time was my perception towards some ‘senior practitioners’ that I knew and seen. In my heart, I expect them to be noble in their ways of life and in other words, they should have a ‘bright ring’ above their heads. They should do what they preach.
This wrong thinking was rectified during the 行愿茶会 on the 19.11.2015 itself. Master said it is wrong to apply Buddha’s standard on other beings as there is only one Buddha. The rest of us are still learning and it is not fair to apply that to others. We should reflect on ourselves.
In a talk to Master the following day, after expressing myself on the doubts that I had and reasons behind them, I suddenly realised that the so-called troubles were actually some petty issues that had left unresolved when they first surfaced. Those small issues snowballed until they burst recently.
Thank you, Master for guiding me through.
[Great doubt is necessary for practice, it’s the first step toward attaining enlightenment. Without your earlier doubts, you won’t experience your realization today. Can you see it?]
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